Ugly
by s n u c k
Summary: shigure gets a little reality check about his feelings in a strange way. [ attempted suicide - shounen-ai ]


Ugly

**(xxx)**

I think I'm going to die.

No really, I think I'm going to die.

Blood is everywhere, painted on the walls, in handprints on the floor, smeared on his face. I think I had a little bit too much fun. After all, it's his blood not mine.

But you stay there, astounded, like you didn't know I was even capable of this. Your lips are open and you're barely breathing.

Silly puppy.

You were always so stupid like that. Trusting a monster like the cat to stay under your roof and to not cause any mischief. I always knew he would. But no, you never listen to me.

"What have you done...?" you uttered, eyes glancing frantically from me to him.

"I don't know," he replies. His body is against the wall, a rather awkward position, like sitting and leaning at the same time. He's so pretty, but you don't understand that. You think he's hideous, because of me.

If you looked past the rough exterior, dog, you'd see a scared little boy with fragile emotions. When he came to live with you, he was already at his breaking point. It just took me to push him further.

"Why?" Your one word question. It sounds so simple to the human ears, but to me it's as valuable as an entire story. It has so many meanings. Why did you do it? Why do you want it? Why, why, why?

"Because... I have no reason not to," he replied. You're near shaking now. Maybe with fear for his life. After all, you're standing here shivering while his life bleeds out his wrist. "Worthless..." His words are near incoherent to your ears now.

"You aren't worthless." Your voice cracks. You love him. Don't deny it. But do you love me? You can't bear to see him like this, but if it was me, would you care? Would you love me like you do him? "Don't say that."

"Why not? Yuki... beats me all the time. I can't win. Why not die instead of that fucking cage?" You try to move towards him. He pulls away. He hates you. But you love him. You have since forever. I remember the looks you gave him whenever he was around. Longing. You want him, but not me.

"You could run," you said, cautiously kneeling down beside him. "You could escape this. Please, let me help." He moved his crimson eyes to look at you. You could only blink back. He looked so dead inside, lost in his own little world because the real one was shunned from him. Nobody loved him, nobody cared. Nobody but you.

But he doesn't want anyone to care, because I make him feel worthless. Because I know he is. I know everyone is inside. Like you. Like him. We're worthless.

"Why...? I'm not worth it," he said, looking away from you. You gripped his chin and forced him to look into your eyes. I could see the passion burning in your optics. You wanted us to live.

"You are worth it." Persistent as always, dog. Why don't you just let him perish? He'd want it.

"Why? No one cares. Nobody loves me," he said, his eyes traveling away. That's when you snapped. You kissed him with such ferocity; it couldn't even be compared to anything I had done in the past. I don't think he or you knew what either was doing. I did. That was your own little confession of love right there. And I think he accepted it, the way he sunk into the kiss. 

Disgusting.

Doesn't he know that he's not supposed to be loved?

Doesn't he know that he's not supposed to love?

Doesn't he know that I'm the master of him?

My body is a stupid thing. It half-obeys me, half doesn't. It knows I'm here, but it still longs to be loved. And that's why it did this. That's why you wanted to save it. It made itself seem so pitiful, that you had to confess. But you love him, and not me. So, you look past me and into him. You'll never see me.

I can only wait for the beads to be removed so **I** can come out and show **you** how worthless** he** is. Until then, you can love him.

Until the beads come off, you'll love him.

If I show you how ugly we can be, you'll be disgusted.

But until that, have fun.

**(xxx)**

Hey man. Did you guys figure out the POV? If you did, good job. It's kindof hard to figure out until the end. But if you can figure out who **You** is, you're pretty good. I might have to continue this. :)


End file.
